C.P.G. § 7.2 — RSVP Fraud & Aggravated Flaking
Temporal Misdemeanor“A person is guilty of RSVP Fraud when they accept an invitation and cancel within six hours of the event with a vague malady, and of Aggravated Flaking when they do so repeatedly, or maintain a 'maybe' past the point at which catering decisions were made in reliance upon them.”
Definitions
- “Vague malady”.
- 'Not feeling great' — unfalsifiable, undiagnosable, and cured by the following morning's posted brunch.
- “The reliance window”.
- The period after which the host can no longer adjust; presumptively six (6) hours, or upon the purchase of anything non-refundable.
Elements (proof required: a preponderance of the evidence)
- An invitation was extended and accepted, or held at 'maybe' unreasonably
- The accused cancelled within the reliance window or failed to appear
- The host had relied: food, seats, tickets, or emotional load-bearing
Recognized defenses
- The Actual Emergency Defense — a real crisis, which the court will not mock, this once
Aggravating circumstances
- The flaker was photographed elsewhere during the event
- The 'maybe' was maintained solely to keep options open for a better offer
Mitigating circumstances
- Genuine illness, corroborated by misery
Leading cases
- Host v. The Brunch Ghost (2026) — A vague malady cured by the following morning's posted brunch is fraud on the RSVP. The mimosa photograph was dispositive.
Sentencing guideline: Attendance bonds, RSVP probation, and reliance restitution.
Sentences this court has been known to hand down
- an attendance bond: the next three acceptances are binding, no-shows payable in hosting duty
- RSVP probation: only 'yes' or 'no' permitted for six months — the word 'maybe' is forfeit
- restitution of the host's reliance: the uneaten portion, the unused ticket, the empty chair's dignity
Commentary: Reliance is a real legal concept — promissory estoppel, Restatement (Second) of Contracts § 90: a promise reasonably relied upon is enforceable. The catering was ordered. The law, and the court, were both counting on you.