C.P.G. § 2.4 — Disturbing the Peace of a Shared Dwelling
Domestic Violation“A person is guilty of Disturbing the Peace when, with intent to enjoy themselves, or recklessly creating a risk thereof, they make unreasonable noise during hours commonly reserved for silence, streaming, or sulking.”
Elements (proof required: a preponderance of the evidence)
- Noise was produced within or upon a shared dwelling
- The noise was unreasonable in volume, duration, or genre
- The accused acted with intent to enjoy themselves or reckless disregard for cohabitants
Recognized defenses
- The One Song Defense — it was one song, and it was a great song
- The Charging Headphones Defense — the headphones were charging and the content could not wait
Degrees
- First degree: Unreasonable noise between 22:00 and 07:00, or the same song on repeat at any hour.
- Second degree: Unreasonable noise at any other time.
Aggravating circumstances
- A subwoofer was involved
- The noise continued after one documented 'could you maybe'
Sentencing guideline: Quiet hours, headphone mandates, and probationary control of the aux cable.
Sentences this court has been known to hand down
- mandatory headphones after 21:00 for one calendar month
- surrender of the speaker into protective custody, with supervised visitation on weekends
- submission of all setlists 24 hours in advance for court approval
Commentary: Adapted, with a straight face, from New York Penal Law § 240.20(2), which really does criminalize making 'unreasonable noise' with intent to cause annoyance. Real law got there first.