C.P.G. § 4.6 — Detention of a Borrowed Chattel
Pettiness Misdemeanor“A person is guilty of Detention of a Borrowed Chattel when, having borrowed a thing for an agreed purpose or period, they retain it beyond that purpose or period and answer demands for its return with 'this weekend, promise', 'I keep forgetting', or a tarp.”
Definitions
- “Constructive keeping”.
- Retention so prolonged that the accused begins, in their heart, to consider the chattel theirs. Symptoms include storing it under a tarp.
Elements (proof required: a preponderance of the evidence)
- A chattel of the complainant's was lent for an agreed scope or duration
- The scope or duration was exceeded
- The complainant demanded return at least once, and the chattel came not
Recognized defenses
- The Gift Theory — the accused genuinely and reasonably believed it was a gift (words like 'borrow' defeat this belief)
- The Completed Return Defense — it was returned, and the complainant simply hasn't looked properly
Degrees
- First degree: Retention past three demands, or use of the chattel visible to the owner during the retention.
- Second degree: Simple retention past one demand.
Aggravating circumstances
- The chattel was lent 'for the weekend' more than one season ago
- The accused lent the chattel onward to a third party
Mitigating circumstances
- Return, cleaned and functional, before trial (noted, and late)
Leading cases
- The Ladder Cases (consolidated, 2026) — 'This weekend, promise' spoken across two seasons establishes constructive keeping. A tarp is not a defense; a tarp is an admission with a cover on it.
Sentencing guideline: Immediate return with condition inspection, borrowing bans, and public correction of any 'gift' narrative.
Sentences this court has been known to hand down
- return of the chattel within 48 hours, in original condition, inspected in daylight
- a household-wide borrowing ban of ninety (90) days, all future borrowings requiring written terms
- a formal statement, delivered at the fence line, that the item was never a gift
Commentary: Real law calls this conversion, and the civil action for it — detinue, replevin — is among the oldest in the common law. People have been not returning each other's things since the invention of things.